I wish i could just snap my fingers and make everything better for everyone.
I really wish i could.

So, occasionally i have great ideas for PC's.
I've wanted an Autumn Courtier for a while, and i think im going to go for this particular idea.

Now... I'm an Arachnophobe. And the planned PC is a motherfucking spider.
Yes. apparantly i DO like to torture myself.
So i'm researching a particular kind of spider, the Orb Weaver (Since the PC was a weaver-spider) and i come across a picture which instantly gave me chills. Perfect, i thought. This is him.

( Seriously though, if your an arachnophobe DO NOT MOTHERFUCKING CLICK ON THIS LINK )
Yeah he's a handsome bastard. Just looking at him makes my skin crawl.

THEN I FOUND OUT THE MOTHERFUCKER IS THE SIZE OF A HUMAN HAND!

*High Pitched Girly Scream*

"So, i hear your an Autumn Courtier"
"Yet, thats what they say."
"Is it easy to harvest glamour?"
"I'm allways on full glamour"
"How do you manage that?"

HE SNEAKS INTO PEOPLES HOUSES WHILE THEY ARE IN BED AND THEN WHILST THEY ARE FALLING ASLEEP BUT NOT ACTUALLY ASLEEP HE FALLS OFF OF THE CEILING ONTO THEIR FACES!

*Unending Scream of Utter Terror*

... Isnt the way i want to be again.

( Stop! Emo-Time! )

Hmm.

As a distraction from the emo - Ogami Itto and Ogami Daigoro!

Some of you may have, but some of you may not have read the story of Lone Wolf and Cub. Some of you might have even watched the live action videos!

But these videos don't do justice to an utter badass.
Am i talking about Ogami Itto?

No. I'm talking about his 4 year old son.

Daigoro.

Four years old, and he slashes a noble's son's bodyguard with his sword. He has to kick daigoro in the head just to stop the little kid from kicking his ass.

Daigoro then goes on to have the crap beaten out of him by adults trying to find out who his father is and even after a week of being starved, still manages to escape from capture and get back to his dad.

Chuck Norris eat your heart out.

http://www.duels.com/users/register/mhorguenstern - Come help me level up! *hero pose*

So, after the hilarity of Steampunks ill thought out plan to get Summer's favour...

I look through the armoury reloaded book and i see a weapon called 'Injustice'. And i think "Christ. Its a Punk weapon."
I mean literally, though. Its a punk weapon. It was made by a punk.
Sometimes, i sit here and i think "How ace would it be to get my hands on something like that for Steam".

Then i remember what chaos i manage to cause when i get things like that :P

What can i say?

EVERYTHING WAS FUCKING RUINED BY REQIUEM. 
EVERYTHING.

FUCK YOU, COMBAT PLOT.
FUCK YOU.

(Edited for Emphasis)

All in all good, as the awesome outweighed the awful.

Forsaken
I was going to write something here, but i realised that it probably wasnt the done thing to rant about a specific person.
There was a lot of card draws which basically amounted to nothing despite the fact we had some of the hardest forsaken in the country with us who are very good at fucking people up. This did in fact, ruin the game for me a bit. Add on to this the organisation skills of most players and we basically ended up with a clusterfuck of a couple of people taking the planning seriously and everyone else twatting about
There was also a bit o Metagaming. J'detest la metagame.

Promethean
Game went well, as it allways does at big events. Huge kudos to my NPC's - they really, really were a roleplaying force to be reckoned with and they seriously had the players terrified they were going to kick off in a huge way. People interacted with the Ghost and there was a lot of interest in the motorbike. I was actually very impressed that without realising, Yoda managed to do what i was hinting to people all night about needing to do - impressing the bike/ghost itself, not the rider. He wrote her a song! and gave her a token! it was really sweet.
Also, bonus points to Mr Hussey for, after the unseen chair-rattler incident, causing absolute fucking mayhem. It was glorious.
On the downside, we then had the incident with the staff member which left me feeling physically sick. Fail.
I made becky spence cry though and i also made a lot of people feel really sad when Rogue left the room - which was the entire point of the game. Victory!

Mage
This was easily the highlight of my weekend.
First things first, i was pegged as 'The Harlequin'. That was quite amusing when i realised it was an Honour IC, not an Insult. Then i got told that The Union would be happy to have me. THEN the portal to Merlin's Wall Control Centre opened.
DW got a semi.
Then DW walked around and did the DW thing - Get very easily distracted by everything and got annoyed that people wouldn't leave him alone to play with the computers. Then when all the other Aeons started getting blown back to their hallows we decided to get a bit lairy with our demon and eventually, Emeritus did something i didn't quite understand and Stigmata helped, which fixed him. Then we went and helped him tear up a god. Yay! we fixed the Mastigos Hallow. Why was this important?
It meant that DW got to go back to playing with computer things.
So he did, basically ran around like a nutbar trying to find all the scattered peices of the CPU and then when i finally had them all and got my laptop out and booted up... Doc Spartan started telling me how computers worked. The conversation ended when DW said "Doc. Would you like me to teach your Grandmother to suck eggs? Its a Computer. ITS LIKE THE ONLY THING I'M GOOD AT AND I'M AWESOME AT IT"
He was needless to say, a bit shocked that DW was agressive and raised his voice. But DW was in a very mastigos mood at the time and wasnt on meds.
Finally... I am Unaware!

Mortals
Personally a bit quiet for my character, but some good roleplay was had even if i didn't get involved with plot.

Reqiuem
Meh. It was Reqiuem. But i'm finally out of the Goddamn Ordo now
Also, Johanna Scott has HUGE tits.

Changeling
Was a very good game for Wyatt and the most Pro-Active he's ever been about anything. It was spoilt a bit by an hour long combat but the least said about that the better. The game was still fantastic on the ST side of things and the only issue i had about the entire thing was player based.

Forsaken
Bit Dull. Used to that now, though.
The Shooty Irraka had a bit of a chat about various things and we've basically come to an agreement that we need to work together more.

All in all, Great Weekend!

*stares*

I will kill your family if you make me think too hard today. This is no idle threat - i will kill them with my god damned mind.
I can you know. With Brain Lazers

... Maybe i should wake up on the way to essex. Just as an idea.

Anyway, Radio Silence until Monday after next. Interwebs will be sporadic at best.

Later Taters

Just as a heads up, i'm going to be doing double shifts on thursday and friday, so when i get home at 9-9:30 i'm going to be half dead and probably uninterested in most things. Please don't take offence if i'm rather non-commital when i do get back, i'm just tired.

Disclaimer. The opinions in the following post are just that - Opinions. I'm not saying i'm right and your wrong, this is just my personal view on things. That said, on with the post.

Lets start with something near and dear to my heart, eh?
Zombies - Brain eating, shuffling, moaning lurching mindless corpses.
But, why are zombies such popular antagonists? And why has the popular ideal of a zombie changed so much over the years since the first films?

So lets tilt our heads a little and take a look at some of the key aspects behind zombies.

Death
Zombies by large are re-animated corpses or living people that have suffered from a hideous virus which has killed them and their body but left most of the primal functions of the body behind. But why does this contribute to the scariness of a Zombie? Because they are dead, and humanity has an akward relationship with death.
We dont understand anything about death after the fact that we die, so we have to rely on comforting beleif systems for what happens to us afterwards. On top of this, the concept of non-existance is a horrific one to contemplate. One day, you will cease to exist. Is there something after that, some heavenly realm in which our consiousnesses float free and continue to be?
We just don't know. And when you bring a zombie into the equation, it gets more akward. If heaven/nirvana/the afterlife exists, does the immaterial self go on when the body becomes a zombie, or is is trapped inside its own shell screaming for freedom? Does the self still exist AS the zombie, but with all higher thought impossible and replaced with baser thoughts of Kill and Eat?
And worse, if heaven does exist, does the actions whilst a zombie taint your soul in such a way that you will go to hell instead?
Most of these implications if considered seriously would scare a lot of people.

The Mindless Horde
Numb and unfeeling, stumbling mindlessly from one place to the next constantly, unaware of their surroundings and with nothing but the basic needs to guide them. No, we're not talking about zombies here. World over, living zombies exist in a grey haze of existance. They get up early and bathe in a morning ritual. Breakfast is made, generally quickly unless your starting hours let you have a comfortable amount of time. You travel to work - By car if your lucky, a daily slog through the same streets day in, day out. The only difference in your journey are the colours of the cars in front of you. If your less lucky, by public transport. The same dull grey train walls, the same dull train stations every day. The same bus route every morning down the same roads. And then you arrive at work, where you generally spend your day doing the same things over and over again. Lunch break gives you the same dull meals every day, wether from a cafeteria's muted tasteless selection of meals, take away dinners which allways taste the same after eating them daily for a week or more or a rushed pack lunch prepared before work. And then, back to the daily grind of work. Then you leave work - By car if your lucky, a daily slog through the same streets day in, day out. The only difference in your journey are the colours of the cars in front of you. If your less lucky, by public transport. The same dull grey train walls, the same dull train stations every day. The same bus route every evening down the same roads. You get home and cook, probably one of the only times in the day you get some variation. Presuming you work nine til five, you then have say, 4 or 5 hours of your own time which may or may not include looking after your children, cleaning up your house, persuing a hobby or hanging around with friends. Then you go to bed, make sure your alarm is set and after 8 hours, you wake up and start all over again.
Notice how we've not even talked about zombies yet?
While this is a fairly common thing, it was one of the reasons that its been assumed the zombie was created. Outside of the workplace you have mindless consumerism and me-tooism. We get into a comfortable groove and rarely shake ourselves out of it. Day in and day out, we are Zombies. We have nothing. We move. We Eat. We Act. We Move. We Eat. We Act.
People often instinctively feel this when they look at zombies. Again, another reason why zombies disturb us. Zombies arn't individuals, and we want to be individuals. We dont want to be just another face in the crowd, we want to be our own person.

World Breaking Phenomina
Shoot a person in the kneecap and generally, they will fall over, scream, clutch their knee and bleed. (usually in that order).
Shoot a person in the arm and they they will generally scream, clutch their arm, and bleed.
Shoot someone in the stomach... You get the idea.
People need to eat.
People can often be reasoned with
People get tired
People feel pain.
Bring a zombie into the mix and that changes everything, though. Zombies to not apply to the things we are comfortable with in the world. 'World breaking Phenomina'. Even if its just our worlds that get broken. Zombies do not do what we expect them to. They are unstoppable, dont get tired and dont feel pain. The only way to kill them is to remove or destroy the head. Sometimes, this doesnt work either. We are inherently uncomfortable with things we don't understand or don't make sense. We fear what we don't understand.

The Hunger
Uncontrolled Hunger is generally a key aspect of what makes a zombie. Wether that is for Brains (an old cliché now being kicked to the kerb) or wether its for any and all human flesh. Its all zombies 'Think' about. They are utterly wild in the persuit of it, no restraint and no thought. Utter mindless instinct.
And you guessed it. Most people are utterly uncomfortable with a lack of control. (Say nothing, Subbie. I know your reading that with a grin. :P). People want self control and the freedom to make their own descisions. Paired with the Mindless Horde and The Hunger, a lack of control is maybe one of the biggest fears that a human can instinctually have.

But why have zombies changed over the years? Back in the first films and popular opinions, zombies were rarely explained as to what created them. They were an elemental force - a Faceless tide which threw itself again and again onto the beach of humanity, slowly eroding away every grain of sand and growing stronger and stronger.
Individuality was the major concern of those days. Personality was big business and the world was going to be coming into the 60's, 70's and 80's. Zombies didn't have to have a personality. The stories were about personal struggles, about individuals. They werent about thriving, they were about Surviving. Keeping individualism when the world wanted to make you another face in another crowd.

But times have changed and so has understanding. We have a firm grasp on chemistry and biology which gives us more comfort around those kind of things. The world has generally lost most of its individuality to brand names and faceless culture. So we needed to escalate things, we needed to introduce something that would create more fear in the new mindsets of the world.
World Breakers. Sure, a percentage of humanity understood advanced concepts like the effect a Virus could have on a body... but did joe average? Its relatively easy to line up a story that says 'And a virus could really do this' because the average person cannot prove otherwise. A world breaker has been introduced into the mind and creates fear. The next step is to threaten comfort and group mentality. Focus has changed in movies and media. Where the average Zombie movie WAS about survival, now its about progression, thriving in large groups and what zombie hordes can DO to large groups. Increasingly large groups of zombies threaten thousands of people. You may be a large group but guess what? There are many more zombies.

So, yes. Zombies have changed over the years, evolving new ways to scare humanity. What could that lead to in the future though?
Individualism is breaking through once again as people are shedding years of self imposed opression of their personalities. But we're getting smarter, we're getting more comfortable and the old World Breakers don't work anymore. Whats the next logical progression?

... Zombie Robots? Zompenguins? Strange dudes on motorbikes dressed in dog and skeleton shaped armour?
Ok, i think thats todays rant over ;)

Tune in next time when i tackle something amusing... like Creme Eggs.

This is something i've been wanting to do for a while. More often then not i will explain to people that i don't see the world quite in the way everyone else does sometimes. This is partially to do with being crazy and partially to do with having a very bizarre and overactive imagination.
Often, when a person looks at something that they dont at first realise what it is, they will tilt their head to the side (often i find, to the right. Maybe its a lefty-righty thing). Its as if forcing your head into a 45 degree angle will allow you to get a different perspective on the thing your looking at and see what you didn't see the first time you looked. Like nothing makes sense until you've looked at it from a funny angle that will somehow unlock the mystical illusion of what the hell is in front of you.
"Oh yeah. Now i see it"
I find this analogy is good for my purposes. I tilt my head at a LOT of things, generally because at first nothing makes sense until i've worked it out. This series of blogs (Titled: I tilt my head and see...) is half here to show people my weird perspectives on how the world works and half to give me something to do and to go 'blargh' about.

Things i intend to cover in this series unless i get bored of writing them;

Roleplay
Zombies
Cadburies Cream Eggs
Temperature
Customer Mentality
Common Sense

Or whatever jumps into my head at the time, really. So, without much further ado...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLdQ3UhLoD4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eblDrj-EhKc&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piN8Dy0dqS8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_hkgzWuAxg&feature=related - this ones amusing because cats treat kittens the exact same way
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VepgLqAyUBg&NR=1

So, i finally kicked the abscess! (Yay!)
Now i have a fucking ear infection.


...


Fuck you, Body. Fuck you in my Ass.

I've started re-writing up an old peice of work to make it a little more mature and a bit darker to more reflect my current tastes as an author. Whenever i read my own stuff from however many years ago it all seems very bright and childish, making me screw my face up and pull faces. I guess my interests were different back then - i think i considered my life to be quite bad and miserable, but now where i've actually got to a point where i'm happy my tastes are moving to the macabre while i'm in a comfortable place to dip my toes into it.

So far, I've got a page of the prologue sorted and i'm going upstairs to do some more when i've finished sorting out WHZ action sheets. If anyone wants to have a read of what i've done (by the morning i mean, as i'm going to write before i'm next online) then send an email to Rebel.Wulf@Gmail.com asking for one so i can email you a file back. Try to refrain asking me on here as i might not have your most up to date email adress!

As a taster, heres the first two paragraphs. Yes, i'm fully aware it needs polishing... Yes, i'm aware i use the term 'First Race' alot, but i dont know how else to put it. This isnt supposed to be an accurate depiction of what happened, its supposed to sound like someone making an 'educated guess' at the past from information thats been passed down through the years.

Old stories tell a tale of a world before everything, where the first race lived. But that world was unlike the peaceful world of which we will speak more of later. The first world was a place of conflict, of savagery and of destruction. The first race waged war on itself first for space, as all species had at one point. When all the space had been claimed and the small tribes had become nations, they waged war for the resources that their rivals had claimed. During the war for resources, more wars were created for the different beliefs of nations, alliances formed and destruction was rained down upon ‘unbeleivers’. Some of the first race tried to stop their own destructive nature, forming world-wide compacts and agreements forbidding wars to be waged for threat of the alliance declaring war on those who disagreed in order to ‘Peace Keep’. 
     This worked for a time, but the world could not sustain life forever. The first race were greedy and despite the progress they had made they could not save the world from their own needs. They raced to learn a way to escape the world so that the first race would survive in all its varied glory. They warred to keep and control as many of the dwindling resources as they could so their thinkers and their holy men could create the way the world could be escaped. Progress was made faster then it ever had in the history of the first race…

Behold!
I am Captain Keen!

Just because it makes me feel miserable, and to help people understand exactly why this has bothered me so much, here is a copy paste of the post i read today.

Once upon a time, there was a girl and a boy named Laura and Duncan. Now this girl and boy lived with another girl and boy named Lilli and Adam. Lilli worked in a place that had alot of other people in it. Now one day, the weekend before a great event in their city called Conquest, in fact, Lilli came home sniffling. It seemed that there was a dread plague sweeping through their city, and the poor girl had caught it! Duncan and Laura decided to escape for the weekend to a secret cottage so that they would not catch it, but alas, they were too late!

Lilli, after a weekend in bed, seemed cured, and returned to work. By the end of the weekend however, our poor couple was so sick that they could not even move from the couch. They sort out the best healers in all the land, but it seemed that the only thing that could truly cure this plague was time. So they spent the week together, being sick, in bed. During this week, our couple did alot of talking, about topics that only the truly delirious can.

Then, suddenly, clarity struck Duncan, through his fever. If this girl loved him enough to stay with him even when he was sick, then surely she was the girl for him. The two had talked about marriage before, and he decided that now was the time. He asked her, and with a smile, and a blush that was more than just her high temperature, she agreed. But this was not enough! Duncan was a very traditional man, and decided he had to do things right, so he decided to get down on one knee and ask her properly.

Now one of the ways this plague afflicted people was in their motor control. Without too much thought, Duncan started to get off of the bed, only to fall, quite hard on his head. By his side in a heartbeat, his loving fiance helped him back into the bed, now helping him nurse not only his plague, but a headwound as well.

Love is, after all, a bumpy trip.

I wasnt even a funny little footnote in her happiness.